Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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