Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don't deserve a penis
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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