How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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