and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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