you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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