This girl is more easily done than said...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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