Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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