I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
