maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize