the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
