Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
