Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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