My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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