I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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