i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
