stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
