Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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