dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
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..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.