I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole