Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
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Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
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Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.