Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
