Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
