Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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