i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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