my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
