Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize