I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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