Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Randomize