it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
