I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
