Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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