I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
