____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
