what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
