WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We left an ass print on the piano.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize
