You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
