I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
