You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Me. At least after what I've been through.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
