He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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