Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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