I am in a vortex of obligation.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
