All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
