I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
