Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
