I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just found puke in my bra..
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
