So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
