Too much gin, very little bucket
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
