I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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