I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
