sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
