I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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