I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize