idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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