Whod you bang
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
