"it" just moved
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
