I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
