At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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