he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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