piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
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I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
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I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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